Feeling slightly fragile the evening after the work party, sitting round a rowdy table in Kensington for a staff meal, I receive a string of ‘You’ve been tagged’ messages from Facebook. Great – the pictures from the ball are up, I’ll have a look at them when I get home.
Within 5 minutes of the pictures being posted to my page, I receive a message from both my brother and sister. What ever could be the matter?
‘Hi Cat, I just thought I’d let you know that there have been some pictures posted on your Facebook from the ball…H mentioned there are a few pictures where the lighting doesn’t quite work with your dress. If you’re comfortable with the pictures then that’s fine, I just thought I’d let you know that they are there. Have a great night, W x’
Hmmmmm. Doesn’t sound too great. I’ll check facebook.
Oh look, a message from my sister. Best read that first…
‘Hey Cat! I’ve just seen the pictures from the ball, you look stunning – love the dress! I can see your flowers though, if you know what I mean ; ) Anyway, just thought I’d let you know – maybe we can just photoshop them and re-post the pictures. Hope you’re having a lovely night xxx’
I knew exactly what she meant when she could see my ‘flowers’: my flower shaped nipple stickers.
Emilio Pucci – I’m never going to return to you and your awkward underwear dresses again. How mortifying! That means my brother, his wife, my sister and at least a good handful of friends have seen my rather public boob blunder. Excellent. After frantic texts to the girl who posted them, the offending photos were promptly removed.
This is a word of warning about nipples stickers: they are great permitting your clothes fabric is heavy or light in colour. Apparently nude coloured nipple stickers and black dresses are not a match made in heaven.
So, next time you’re looking at a pretty dress wondering how you’ll get around the fact that you won’t be able to wear a bra with it, consider your boob situation.
Try the item with a nipple sticker or a regular plaster under it to see how much it covers. Maybe even get a good friend to take a few snaps with a strong flash…just don’t let them look at the resulting photos. Perv.
So, half of my colleagues have seen my nipple stickers and a series of otherwise lovely photos have been ruined: let my funbag fiasco be your heads-up!
Don’t risk it. Wear something else. A bin bag perhaps. Or a toga made from tinfoil. The options are endless.