Dazzle my vajazzle

I’m not sure when this came to be, or frankly why, but vajazzling was an actual thing. If you’re unfamiliar with what the term ‘vajazzle’ means, lucky you. Let me corrupt your mind with an urban dictionary definition…

Vajazzle: To give the female genitals a sparkly makeover with crystals so as to enhance their appearance.

Or to rephrase, cover your naughty bits with bits of sparkly trash. Who wants to look like they are smuggling a jeweller’s cabinet between their legs? Not I sir, not I.

I feel like I should be reviewing this, but it’s just too unsavoury for my palate. I’m not exactly too sure how this works, but I’m guessing all hair must be removed first – else it might look like a ferret wrestling a chandelier. So, once your genitals have been completely stripped of looking like they belong to an adult, get out the glue and do a naughty version of Art Attack. Or not.

I can’t really see the appeal of having sparkly nonsense (or anything for that matter) stuck to me to decorate my lady parts: unless of course I was trying to woo a magpie. Surely there’s going to be an awkward in-between where your bits look like a sad Christmas decoration? The mind boggles.

As an exception, it might be a fun practical joke to make it look like you’re smuggling some sort of crazed animal in your pants. Alternatively, be really classy and get your boyfriend’s name jewelled across your bits. That way he’ll really know that you love him. Ha.

Anyway, bon appétit friends!

Your lass,

Cat x


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