That unflushable jobbie that you’re ignoring


Now there’s a funny word.

To my fellow non-Scot friends, this word is not the cute term for a job.

No, it means poo. Dump. Turd. Whatever endearing term you’ve coined.

I once asked a friend in a lecture if he knew what the word meant. He replied, ‘yeah, it’s a blow-job right?’. All I could advise him was that if someone offered him a ‘jobbie’, to politely decline the offer.

Anyway, I digress.

I sometimes hear this comment, in relation to my social media posts:

I had to unfollow you because it was making me feel really bad.

I stopped following you because your posts made me feel really lazy.

Sorry but I had to unfollow you, everything you eat is just so bloody healthy and it made me feel bad.

Just quick to address that last one before I move on. Yes, I eat healthily, but not all of the time. Jeez, I ate half my body weight in popcorn for dinner tonight. True story. Anyway…

So, photos and updates of a healthy nature pop up in your feed. There’s healthy food, there’s sweat and exercise. They make you feel bad.


Because there’s a great big stinker of a jobbie that just won’t flush. You’ve caught a glimpse of it, but you’re just not ready to deal with it yet.

You’ve flushed a few times. It’s still there.

You put some toilet roll on top of it to cover it. You can’t see it. But it’s still there.

You spray some air-freshener. The smell has almost gone. But it’s still there.

That jobbie is going to stay there until you look it in the eye and do something about it.*

The way I see people’s reactions to my posts is exactly this. You know that there’s something there playing on your mind. You know you should really address it…but you’re just not quite there yet.

You’ve flushed a few times. Perhaps you’ve purged your instagram account of accounts that give you regular snapshots of that gym regimen, that diet, that body, that lifestyle.

You’re still not ready to get out those rubber gloves.

You’re now armed with all of the toilet-roll.

Believe me when I say this, I know where you’re at. Christ, it was only 3 years ago that a typical breakfast for me was a Mars bar and a coffee, or a slice of lemon drizzle. I knew it wasn’t great, but on I went.

I’d see someone eating a salad – or anything vaguely healthy – and I’d allow myself believe that I pitied them. Eventually pity became a feeling of discomfort. Discomfort at my own behaviours.

I didn’t want to see, hear or know of anything good, fun or healthy that anyone was up to.

This, my friends, was a reflection of my own dissatisfaction.

You can flush and flush, and flush some more. You can hide the jobbie under a mountain of paper. You can use a whole can of air-freshener. But eventually, someone else is going to need to use the bathroom.

If something is making you ‘feel bad’. Have a think about why it makes you feel like that. And if you want to continue letting it make you feel bad.

You can keep flushing. Or you can just grit your teeth, accept where you’re at, roll up your sleeves and get on with it. If you’ve got a niggle in your head that you want to do something, just do it. Just get it done. Life’s short.

That’s the thing with diet and exercise – or anything else for that matter. Like that jobbie, the issue isn’t going to sort itself. You’re going to have to do something about it.

I’m not saying that if you want to improve your health you need to become a vegan tomorrow. Or spend a million hours in the gym each week. Or only eat organic. Or drink a litre of water every morning before breakfast. No. What I’m saying is that you need to ask if it’s something that you genuinely want to change. And then think about a few steps that will help turn that lurking feeling of dissatisfaction into a positive motion of forward momentum.

If you really want that thing: the beach body, the ‘#eatclean’, the dream job – whatever it is – you’re going to have to do something about it. It’s not going to just happen. For most of us, achieving something requires some input…a bit of graft and some planning.

And the results? Well, they are always worth the effort.

Those people on instagram who make you feel bad? Keep them for heaven-sake. If it’s what you truly want, then a daily reminder – a reinforcement of your desire – is exactly what you need. Let these pictures, posts, people and ideas serve as inspiration and encouragement for you to push and make those changes, rather than as a negative tool that provokes you to bury your head in the sand. Eventually folks, you’ll need to come up for air.

I am not exempt in this. I have been there, and will no doubt continue to encounter material that gives me the unflushable jobbie feeling, but instead of avoiding the issue, I will know that the only solution is to look to myself about how I am going to address that feeling.

Yes change is hard. It requires work. It can be bumpy at the start. But so was learning to ride a bike. As was tying our shoelaces. But hell, aren’t you glad you stuck with it for that bit longer?

So please, I beg of you, next time you encounter that feeling. Take 30 seconds before hitting ‘unfollow’ or thinking ‘X makes me feel bad’, and take stock of where you’re at.

We’re all capable of becoming better, stronger, kinder, more loving and more forgiving people. We’re all capable of eating more greens. We’re all capable of that beach body. We’re all capable of getting ourselves to the gym a few times a week. I’m not saying that it’ll be all plain-sailing…but just think about how glad you are that you can fly down a hill on your bike with your laces firmly in the right place.

Brought to you as a reminder to myself, and a gentle coax to anyone who doesn’t believe that they hold in themselves all the tools they need for greatness. They are there, I assure you.

Your lass,

Cat x

* I would like to point out that the unflushable jobbie is thankfully not an issue I encounter on any notable basis, but rather the most suitable analogy for the topic in hand. Don’t start freaking out that being a vegan will suddenly make your poo unflushable, believe me…there’s definitely no issues in the toilet department on the big V lifestyle!


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